Blogging. What is it good for?

I’ve been dad blogging for a while now. Until recently it was only a hobby. Now, well, it still is a hobby but it’s a hobby I share with other people. Previously I’d been writing it just for a bit of fun more for me and my wife to read rather than for public consumption but lately I’ve come to know - as much as you can know a group of online strangers – a network of fellow dad (and mum) bloggers whose trials and tribulations in the world of parenting I’ve found myself devouring these past few weeks.

It’s been eye opening, as well as reassuring.

I’ve written before about how despite what you see in fiction and in those perfect Facebook profiles of parents of apparent wonder kids, no one really has a handle on life, let alone the daunting world of parenting. As I think I said earlier, everyone is more or less winging it through their existence.  

And as much as it’s easy to convince myself of that, actually reading about the very same fact in black and white from other mums and dads is the most reassuring thing on the planet.

In fact I feel more confident in my parenting, by virtue of reading blogs where parents sound like they’re the least confident people on earth. It’s good to know that others struggle with feeding, dressing, sleeping, winding, existing. That weirdly makes me feel surer in myself, that what I’m doing – what we’re doing – difficult as it is, is going ok. Everyone will go through tough times as parents. Reading about other people’s tough times is almost comforting; sometimes because you read about someone who is having a far worse time than you making your problems seem tiny by comparison, sometimes it’s a hilarious tale that’s relatable to your current situation and gives you a much needed laugh, sometimes because you read about someone who’s going through exactly what you are and has advice. Or you can advise them. It’s a hobby that provides reciprocal support and help. 

Kinda like this, but not really.

Blogs are much better, in my humble opinion, than the thousands of cold, sterile ‘advice’ pages because, to use a fairly hyperbolic metaphor, the bloggers are in the trenches, and on the front line. An NHS page feels like it was written by a robot that’s never been near a real child, a blog is a real person pouring out their heart and soul (and sometimes, if you’ve read my blog, bile and vitriol) about how they’re finding the wonderful world of parenting.

And I’ve found it’s helped me to open up a bit more as well. Now, naturally I love my son, more than anything in the world. But that fact is taken as a given. This past week, I posted this to a private dad blogger network I’m part of on Facebook.

Nothing out of the ordinary, but I was admitting this to a group of men. Strangers on the internet. That sort of thing is almost unheard of in my circles. People I know in real life, my family, my friends, I wouldn’t just randomly profess my love of my son to them. It’s assumed, but I think the fact that I – and many others – happily gush about their offspring signifies a shift in how men interact with other men, or at least since I’ve become a part of such a group. It’s almost the opposite of what social media normally is all about, presenting a fake persona to impress any and all who view it. This was me, laying my soul bare and telling a group of like minded individuals - all dads - how I feel.

Me!

A man! (more or less)

Talking about my…feelings!

To other men!

And, not to put too much significance on, you know, talking, but I think it’s made me a better father (and a more prolific blogger). Or at least made me feel like what I’m doing as a father is right. It may not be perfect and it may not be how other fathers do it, but my son is happy and healthy and I’m the happiest I’ve been in my entire life.  

What more could I possibly ask for?

Well, more views on my blog would be nice.

=)