Monday 22 June 2015

Twenty Minute Toilet Breaks



Or ‘sitting, not shitting.’

Alone time is not something parents get an awful lot of. Especially parents of a baby who will - on occasion - scream if either mummy or daddy leaves the room.

And that’s fine.

Your baby needs attention, or at least wants it. Pretty much all of the time he’s awake. It can be frustrating if it’s just you and baby and it becomes a struggle to get anything done with a little tantrum machine constantly crawling round your ankles, crying for mum mum mum or da da da. So whenever both parents are about, usually on the weekends, you have to take every chance to get some alone time, even if it’s alone time spend sitting on the toilet.

I’ve come to really enjoy my time on the toilet which is a sentence that sounds quite odd, I’ll admit. So now, anytime I have to do my business over the weekend, I go to the toilet, do my business and then just sit there, content that my wife is looking after Isaac and allowing me some time to just not worry about the little dude, or at least not have to stop him from chewing through some wires/eating the cat litter/falling off the sofa. Sometimes I sit there for twenty minutes. Sitting, not shitting. Twenty baby free minutes a day. And it’s glorious.
My Fortress of Solitude

[Once again, I feel like I should add the usual caveat of ‘I love my son’ and ‘I am not moaning about my lack of alone time’ even though I think it’s pretty much assumed at this point. Recent blog posts from others (hi, the Dadventurer!) have made me realise the need to qualify my statements that could be misconstrued/cause fake outrage.*cough* Netmums *cough*]

I’m sure everyone else does something similar, and if you say you don’t, you’re lying. I’m 100% positive every single parent has snuck off at one point leaving your other half holding the baby while you go and have a wee sit down. I know I have. I like to make sure my wife also gets some baby free time, whether it’s her toilet time or letting her go back to sleep for a bit. Yes, we love our son, but do you know what else we love? Our fucking sanity.

It’s the same reason that once in a blue moon my wife and I take a day off work whenever Isaac is in nursery. And we never do it on the same day, because - another caveat here - as much as I love my wife I need proper alone time. As does she. Recharging the batteries is essential to raising a little baby, otherwise you’ll burn out. We learned that pretty early on. Do I feel guilty about it? Not one bit. He’s in nursery anyway, so what harm will it do him and what good will it do me? None and lots, respectively.

So whether it’s a day off relaxing and watching movies or twenty minutes sitting, not shitting, take some time for yourself. Everyone will be the better for it.

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