"I am a man. And therefore useless."

I am a man.

And therefore, useless.

Okay, that’s a bit of an overstatement, and perhaps just refers to me, but since Jenny has been in and out of the hospital with hyperemisis (I could be spelling that wrong) and now that she’s home has been confined to bed for a large part of the time*, I’ve come to realise that I’m fairly useless.

Now I knew this already. My continued existence on this planet is made immeasurably easier by my wife, without whom I’d probably be living in my own filth [see also, parents]. She does countless things everyday that never enter my sphere of thought, yet with her out of action some of these decisions fall to me.

This is not a good thing.

A previous blog outlined my uselessness when it comes to thinking of food. Well, now that Jenny has to eat little and often she’s not eating at our usual dinner time and it turns out when it comes to cooking for and feeding myself, I lack inspiration or sometimes even the most basic understanding of the fact that I need food to survive. When I’m sitting there at 6 in the evening and start to feel hungry, I visit the kitchen, open the cupboard doors/fridge and stare at the various cans, jars and meat available to me and despite the fact that there are many many things that I feasibly could make, there are very few that I have the patience to actually just make for myself. If it involves anything more than pouring boiling water into it, heating it up in the microwave or at a stretch putting something in the oven, it’s not getting made.

I’ve been eating a lot of takeaways.

This uselessness extends to the house as a whole as well which in the absence of a woman’s touch has fallen into a state of disrepair. Again, overstatement but I know that when I’m sick Jenny continues about her daily duties and chores and everything is as it would be were I still fit and healthy. This is all making it sound like I do literally nothing about the house, which isn’t true but right now by the time I’ve shifted my arse to make something to eat – a process that can take up to and including an hour – I’m either too tired or simply can’t be arsed to do anything like hoover or clean. I’ve occasionally done the dishes but that’s about it.

I’m telling you, this pregnancy lark is fucking exhausting me.

Bye

* everything is fine with the progeny FYI. We had our scan and all’s good. Low risk pregnancy according to the doctor.